and let these ladies and gents
teach you a thing or two
about living life to the fullest"
The older I get,
the more I understand.
I am definitely,
on my way...
Hugs from Maine
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
IRIS APFEL & OTHERS
"Respect your elders
and let these ladies and gents
teach you a thing or two
about living life to the fullest"
The older I get,
the more I understand.
I am definitely,
on my way...
Hugs from Maine
and let these ladies and gents
teach you a thing or two
about living life to the fullest"
The older I get,
the more I understand.
I am definitely,
on my way...
Hugs from Maine
Sunday, March 28, 2010
TALKED TO BEN TODAY...
Its so strange being able to hear someones voice like their sitting right beside you, knowing their thousands of miles away... Today Blue Eyes and I talked to Ben. He is as you know, stationed in Germany and will be home on leave, for two weeks, at the end of May.
Ben has called home a couple of times this week. I have missed each call. His siblings did get to talk to their big brother. Katelyn said, "mom, he was even nice to me." She was thrilled. There is a ten year difference between our oldest and youngest. Space that can sometimes be difficult to fill. Their worlds are so very different. But they do. They do connect.
So after the disappointment of missing calls from Ben earlier in the week, with just Blue Eyes home with me, I called him. In Germany. 4pm. here. 10pm there.
Ben has been a night person for a number of years so I felt safe. The first thing he said was, "mom, do you know how much this is going to cost?" When you need to hear your kids voice, cost doesn't come to mind. Their voice does.
At the end of our conversation, when my heart was full of comfort from hearing our first Born's voice, I called to Blue Eyes to pick up, Ben was on the phone.
I sometimes will overhear what Ben and his dad are talking about. Today was one of those days.
I've known that their conversations are sometimes in a code of sorts. A father, son code. One that is meant to protect me. My heart. My thoughts. My concerns.
When Blue Eyes looked over at me and saw tears streaming down my face, he realized I had heard more than either father or son wanted me to hear. Where Ben will be, and the dangers that are going along with it, when he is in Afghanistan.
As a mom who knows and trust God with her peeps, I find my self still crying. And I struggle with that. I struggle with wondering if I really don't trust God as much as I think I do. Claim I do. The message at church yesterday and last week were about remembering the things God has done in our lives. All of the times He has been there. Gotten us through. Blessed us beyond measure... And He has. In our family. Gotten us through really difficult times. Blessed us beyond measure.
So, why? Why do tears come to my eyes, and fall down my face when I know, God is with our first born. Always with him. No matter where he goes, what he faces, God is there. Beside him. With him.
I'm learning as I go. I'm learning how to be a mother of a son, who is sacrificing all for his country. And I am remembering that Gods plan and purpose for Benjamins life can be trusted. Even though the tears come, and I made Ben promise me to let me hug on him as long as I need when he gets here, and I heard the smile in his voice when he said, "sure mom". God can be trusted. With our lives. With our childrens lives. He is trust worthy.
Tears will come. Tears will fall on the shoulders of the ones I love, and love me. But through each tear, I will choose to trust. I will choose to trust The One who is trustworthy. I will trust Him with our peeps. With their lives, however long or short that might be.
And I will trust and remember that He, is more than enough. Because... He Is.
Its all good. And I am so very grateful.
Hugs from Maine
Ben has called home a couple of times this week. I have missed each call. His siblings did get to talk to their big brother. Katelyn said, "mom, he was even nice to me." She was thrilled. There is a ten year difference between our oldest and youngest. Space that can sometimes be difficult to fill. Their worlds are so very different. But they do. They do connect.
So after the disappointment of missing calls from Ben earlier in the week, with just Blue Eyes home with me, I called him. In Germany. 4pm. here. 10pm there.
Ben has been a night person for a number of years so I felt safe. The first thing he said was, "mom, do you know how much this is going to cost?" When you need to hear your kids voice, cost doesn't come to mind. Their voice does.
At the end of our conversation, when my heart was full of comfort from hearing our first Born's voice, I called to Blue Eyes to pick up, Ben was on the phone.
I sometimes will overhear what Ben and his dad are talking about. Today was one of those days.
I've known that their conversations are sometimes in a code of sorts. A father, son code. One that is meant to protect me. My heart. My thoughts. My concerns.
When Blue Eyes looked over at me and saw tears streaming down my face, he realized I had heard more than either father or son wanted me to hear. Where Ben will be, and the dangers that are going along with it, when he is in Afghanistan.
As a mom who knows and trust God with her peeps, I find my self still crying. And I struggle with that. I struggle with wondering if I really don't trust God as much as I think I do. Claim I do. The message at church yesterday and last week were about remembering the things God has done in our lives. All of the times He has been there. Gotten us through. Blessed us beyond measure... And He has. In our family. Gotten us through really difficult times. Blessed us beyond measure.
So, why? Why do tears come to my eyes, and fall down my face when I know, God is with our first born. Always with him. No matter where he goes, what he faces, God is there. Beside him. With him.
I'm learning as I go. I'm learning how to be a mother of a son, who is sacrificing all for his country. And I am remembering that Gods plan and purpose for Benjamins life can be trusted. Even though the tears come, and I made Ben promise me to let me hug on him as long as I need when he gets here, and I heard the smile in his voice when he said, "sure mom". God can be trusted. With our lives. With our childrens lives. He is trust worthy.
Tears will come. Tears will fall on the shoulders of the ones I love, and love me. But through each tear, I will choose to trust. I will choose to trust The One who is trustworthy. I will trust Him with our peeps. With their lives, however long or short that might be.
And I will trust and remember that He, is more than enough. Because... He Is.
Its all good. And I am so very grateful.
Hugs from Maine
Saturday, March 13, 2010
SOME THINGS ARE JUST YOU
This is a wedding "gown" and has my name all over it... If I were to ever be so blessed to marry Blue Eyes again.
You can see her things here,
BONZIE
Hugs from Maine
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
25 YEARS AGO TODAY ...
25 years ago today, I was 20, almost a year married, and so very young...
I was also giving birth for the very first time to this young soldier...
Last year on this day, (His 24th birthday), he went off to boot camp. I couldn't bring him, his Dad did. It was a very heavy heart day for me. I had spent over 20 years mothering my first born son. Benjamin. And now, he was entering a world that was beyond my reach of being his mom. I couldn't be there for him if he needed. Couldn't help him feel better if he was sick. Couldn't comfort and encourage him when he was struggling. But in all of that. In all a mother goes through when she is walking in the very last steps of releasing her child from childhood, God was faithful. He was there.
He reminded me of the reality that I already knew. Ben belongs to Him. Always has, always will. Ben has been a sweet gift from God that I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams of being blessed with. But God did. He knew before the beginning of time that Benjamin would be our first born son. Sweet, kind hearted, gentle, smart, (boy is that guy smart), curious, helpful, hard working, strong ... Benjamin is the best oldest brother to his siblings that anyone could ask or hope for. I've always told our peeps that God didn't just randomly place them in their birth order without purpose. They are where they are, for His purpose. His plan. And also for our family. Each of our children have always been taught the precious gift of where they are to the other sibling, in the birth order. Some of them have more responsibility then the others. God of course, knew what He was doing, putting Ben at the beginning.
25 years ago today, when I held my precious first born son, when I looked into his beautiful little blue eyes, (just like his dads), I NEVER imagined we would be raising a soldier. But God did. He knew.
He knew Ben would be a Lego building, gentle spirited, kind hearted, intelligent, helpful, boy, who took care of his siblings, and sometimes mom when dad was at work. He would be strong, and reliable. Always reliable.
He would love and know Jesus, and grow, into a soldier. A soldier in the United States Army. A soldier like those who have gone before him, and those he serves our country with now, giving all. All. Taking care of his family, and yours. Taking care of our country.
I didn't know. I didn't know. But God did. He knew that today, 25 years later, my mothers heart would be so heavy for my first born son. My eyes would be crying all day. And my spirit would be so very, very, proud. Proud beyond words.
God also knew that He would comfort my heart by reminding me that He is ALWAYS with Ben. Our son. Blue Eyes, Mine, and Gods. He will never leave Ben or forsake him. He will and is with him at every point in this journey Ben takes. No matter where it takes him. Talking to him. Helping him. Always there with him.
So although today is a heavy heart day for this mom, God is so good. He will comfort me with my strong, loving Blue Eyes. Who knows what I'm feeling without my speaking a word. He will comfort me with Mattie, Zack and Kate. They will hug on me over and over, let me cry on their shoulders, and tell me, " He'll be alright mom. Really. " They carry my heavy heart with them today. How blessed am I !!!
And God is with Ben. Always with Ben.
Maybe Ben is going to share Jesus with just one person. One person is worth it. Ben would agree, I'm sure.
Its all good, and I am so very, very, grateful.
Hugs from Maine
I was also giving birth for the very first time to this young soldier...
Last year on this day, (His 24th birthday), he went off to boot camp. I couldn't bring him, his Dad did. It was a very heavy heart day for me. I had spent over 20 years mothering my first born son. Benjamin. And now, he was entering a world that was beyond my reach of being his mom. I couldn't be there for him if he needed. Couldn't help him feel better if he was sick. Couldn't comfort and encourage him when he was struggling. But in all of that. In all a mother goes through when she is walking in the very last steps of releasing her child from childhood, God was faithful. He was there.
He reminded me of the reality that I already knew. Ben belongs to Him. Always has, always will. Ben has been a sweet gift from God that I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams of being blessed with. But God did. He knew before the beginning of time that Benjamin would be our first born son. Sweet, kind hearted, gentle, smart, (boy is that guy smart), curious, helpful, hard working, strong ... Benjamin is the best oldest brother to his siblings that anyone could ask or hope for. I've always told our peeps that God didn't just randomly place them in their birth order without purpose. They are where they are, for His purpose. His plan. And also for our family. Each of our children have always been taught the precious gift of where they are to the other sibling, in the birth order. Some of them have more responsibility then the others. God of course, knew what He was doing, putting Ben at the beginning.
25 years ago today, when I held my precious first born son, when I looked into his beautiful little blue eyes, (just like his dads), I NEVER imagined we would be raising a soldier. But God did. He knew.
He knew Ben would be a Lego building, gentle spirited, kind hearted, intelligent, helpful, boy, who took care of his siblings, and sometimes mom when dad was at work. He would be strong, and reliable. Always reliable.
He would love and know Jesus, and grow, into a soldier. A soldier in the United States Army. A soldier like those who have gone before him, and those he serves our country with now, giving all. All. Taking care of his family, and yours. Taking care of our country.
I didn't know. I didn't know. But God did. He knew that today, 25 years later, my mothers heart would be so heavy for my first born son. My eyes would be crying all day. And my spirit would be so very, very, proud. Proud beyond words.
God also knew that He would comfort my heart by reminding me that He is ALWAYS with Ben. Our son. Blue Eyes, Mine, and Gods. He will never leave Ben or forsake him. He will and is with him at every point in this journey Ben takes. No matter where it takes him. Talking to him. Helping him. Always there with him.
So although today is a heavy heart day for this mom, God is so good. He will comfort me with my strong, loving Blue Eyes. Who knows what I'm feeling without my speaking a word. He will comfort me with Mattie, Zack and Kate. They will hug on me over and over, let me cry on their shoulders, and tell me, " He'll be alright mom. Really. " They carry my heavy heart with them today. How blessed am I !!!
And God is with Ben. Always with Ben.
Maybe Ben is going to share Jesus with just one person. One person is worth it. Ben would agree, I'm sure.
Its all good, and I am so very, very, grateful.
Hugs from Maine
Sunday, March 7, 2010
IF I HAD A CRAFT ROOM...
If I had a craft room, I think it would look something like this.
Pink walls and all!
Hugs from Maine
Pink walls and all!
Hugs from Maine
Monday, March 1, 2010
19 DAYS UNTIL SPRING !!!
Friends on Face Book have reminded me that we have just 19 days until spring! (photos from last year.)
This tells me a few things. I need to find my sheets to hang for the porch.
A new American Flag for the front post.
My white pillows, blanket, and spring flowers.
Last year, I spent many mornings sipping hot coffee here, waking up with the sound of chirping birds. Evenings with my peeps listening to their days events, things they were working through, thoughts and plans.
We read good books, got to know Katies boyfriend Justin, Matties sweet girlfriend Elizabeth. Friends and neighbors stopped by and chatted. We just spent time together.
I am so looking forward to more of that. All are welcome !
Hugs from Maine
This tells me a few things. I need to find my sheets to hang for the porch.
A new American Flag for the front post.
My white pillows, blanket, and spring flowers.
Last year, I spent many mornings sipping hot coffee here, waking up with the sound of chirping birds. Evenings with my peeps listening to their days events, things they were working through, thoughts and plans.
We read good books, got to know Katies boyfriend Justin, Matties sweet girlfriend Elizabeth. Friends and neighbors stopped by and chatted. We just spent time together.
I am so looking forward to more of that. All are welcome !
Hugs from Maine
Sunday, February 28, 2010
18 Years Ago...
18 years ago, about this time, I stood, 3 months pregnant with our 3rd son, holding hands with my 6 siblings, around our mothers bed. In the hospital. As she slipped away. We prayed. Her 3 month battle with cancer was over, and we, her 7 children were sad and relieved.
It's hard to see someone you love suffer. Be in pain. Lose their spirit as they lose weight, and themselves, each day.
You might think I'm sad tonight. I'm not. I haven't had my mom for 18 years. And through the loss of her, when it hurt so badly that I thought I couldn't breathe... God had a way to comfort my heart. He, was able to comfort my heart. Each day that went by, each month that passed, every year that added on to the one before... God would comfort my heart.
A daughter never stops missing her mum. I haven't. I can't. She was my mum. I still remember her laugh. I hear her voice. I smell her hair. I feel her hand next mine as we would till the earth around the stone, at the cemetery, every year to plant flowers for Memorial Day.
She's been gone 18 years. 18 years today. But I see her smile on my daughters 14 year old face. Katelyn has my mums mouth. My mum was private, and kept most things to herself. Katelyn, does the same.
There are days in the years my mum has been gone, that I miss her more then most. When my feelings are hurt. When Ben left for the Army. When Matthew ran away from home and was gone for months. When Blue Eyes and I had rough times in our marriage. When my Sweet Baby Girl, (Katelyn Mary, named after my mum), went to her first dance, on her first date. When our oldest brother died, two years ago, Her first born.
When I'm struggling with life and trying to figure out which way to go.
Those are the times I miss my mum. Really miss my mum.
But I have Katelyn, my sisters, my brothers, and memories. I am blessed to see my mum in Katelyns smile, my sisters gentle hands, the way I love and care for my family.
And the assurance that one day, I will be with my mum again.
God has a way of comforting a grieving heart.
Its all good, and I am grateful.
Hugs from Maine
It's hard to see someone you love suffer. Be in pain. Lose their spirit as they lose weight, and themselves, each day.
You might think I'm sad tonight. I'm not. I haven't had my mom for 18 years. And through the loss of her, when it hurt so badly that I thought I couldn't breathe... God had a way to comfort my heart. He, was able to comfort my heart. Each day that went by, each month that passed, every year that added on to the one before... God would comfort my heart.
A daughter never stops missing her mum. I haven't. I can't. She was my mum. I still remember her laugh. I hear her voice. I smell her hair. I feel her hand next mine as we would till the earth around the stone, at the cemetery, every year to plant flowers for Memorial Day.
She's been gone 18 years. 18 years today. But I see her smile on my daughters 14 year old face. Katelyn has my mums mouth. My mum was private, and kept most things to herself. Katelyn, does the same.
There are days in the years my mum has been gone, that I miss her more then most. When my feelings are hurt. When Ben left for the Army. When Matthew ran away from home and was gone for months. When Blue Eyes and I had rough times in our marriage. When my Sweet Baby Girl, (Katelyn Mary, named after my mum), went to her first dance, on her first date. When our oldest brother died, two years ago, Her first born.
When I'm struggling with life and trying to figure out which way to go.
Those are the times I miss my mum. Really miss my mum.
But I have Katelyn, my sisters, my brothers, and memories. I am blessed to see my mum in Katelyns smile, my sisters gentle hands, the way I love and care for my family.
And the assurance that one day, I will be with my mum again.
God has a way of comforting a grieving heart.
Its all good, and I am grateful.
Hugs from Maine
Sunday, February 21, 2010
THIS IS ADORABLE, AND SO TRUE
The first is my favorite... I hope you all have at least one of these.
Hugs from Maine
Saturday, February 20, 2010
THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT.
- whiten my teeth.
- get a short hair cut
- go to a rumba class
- eat more fruit
- hug my first born
- spend a whole day going to the movies
- drive a volvo xc
- walk my dog everyday
- open a shop
- drive around town in the summer months, bringing free books to kids in low income neighborhoods with Kate. And maybe even a cooler full of Popsicles
- try a different flavored ice cream everyday at Giffords until I've tried them all.
- travel around the country just me and Kate.
- have a huge block party with lots of food, music, dancing and the street blocked off at each end.
- live in an apartment
- swim naked more.
- lose weight. :)
- strengthen my body.
- read more.
- go for a long walk on an empty beach with Kate.
- kiss my husband until my lips fall off.
- hear all four of my peeps and their loves talking and laughing together from the other room.
- talk too and sit long enough to hear from God everyday.
- tell each of my sibling how very much I love them.
Just a list of random things I need to a do ...
Hugs from Maine
Friday, February 12, 2010
WHAT A BLESSED BIRTHDAY!
45 years ago today, I'm pretty sure I was wrapped tightly in a blanket, being fed by a nurse from a glass bottle, wearing cloth diapers, in the hospital nursery with a bunch of other crying newborns. I was the last of my parents 7 children. They were undoubtedly saying a big PHEW WWW... no more! They always said the last two were a surprise. SERIOUSLY!?
Today, 45 years later, was much different. Let me give you the run down of this wonderful day.
Lunch yesterday with 4 great friends at my favorite local restaurant. Sweet gifts, desert passed around the table, circle style. Smiles and laughter, smiles and laughter.
Today, oodles, and oodles, of birthday wishes from family and friends on yes, you guessed it, Face Book. Love it!!!
A phone call from our first born who is still in Germany, wishing his mom a great day. Really love this!
The sweetest letter from one of my peeps (I've been sworn not to give out any more info from said peep ), that blessed my heart beyond words. I will cherish this till the day I go to see Jesus. And then ask Him if He minds if I take it with me. (He just might say yes. He's good like that.)
Oh yeah, and did I mention, one of my brothers called me at 6 am to make sure he was the very first person to wish me a Happy Birthday!!! It was great actually! It reminded me of how close we really still, and always are, even if we get busy with life. He's always got my back. Big brothers are like that ya know. Especially mine.
My Florida sister called and Sewing Sister came by with her hubs to bring me presents from both. Sewing sister even made chocolate covered strawberries! I love those two ! Wow, my siblings rock huh!
A close friend took me to lunch today, (just the two of us. Yes thats two birthday lunches in two days), and then shopping for the most adorable purse this girl has ever had!!! And sunglasses to boot!!!
Then Sweet Baby Girl and I went to the movies to see Valentines Day. Just her and I. All close and mother/daughter like.
Yesterday I got to spend the afternoon with Stella. My mothers close friend. Someone I grew up with. Stella was my moms good friend. I saw her all the time. She knows me, and my mom well. Spending anytime with her is one of my biggest blessings. She isn't my mom, but she's as close as it gets.
Tomorrow, a good friend from 5th grade is taking me out to dinner. We will talk, eat, laugh... laugh some more. Um, yup. I'm a loved girl. So blessed and grateful.
Sweet Baby Girl is lying on the kitchen floor, dog by her side, pillows under her head, ipod in hand, earphones in her ear. Listening to music. Texting, facebooking... I really don't know. Complaining that she should be with her friends on a Friday night. Not home with her parents. But she's here with me, and I'm glad about it.
Blue Eyes is playing golf with Adulterer Tiger on Wii. Well thats what we call Tiger here anyway. Just saying.
I know Jesus loves me. But when He shows me so much of His love in such a short time, in such a real way with family and friends... Well, this girl can't believe how very blessed she is.
Hugs from Maine
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
One of my favorite blogs, Marley & Lockyer, has a wonderful post you don't want to miss.
Ina Garten, Now This Is a Barn...
I love Ina. She makes you feel as though your in her kitchen, sitting at her 18 foot island, sipping one of her cocktails, chatting while she makes one of her delicious meals for you and her to dine on in front of her beautiful fireplace. Jump over to Marley & Lockyer.
Hugs from Maine
Monday, February 1, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
BIG SIGH...
These are a few things I know...
- When I keep my life SIMPLE, I'm a happy girl.
- Saying "yes" to everything and everyone does not keep my life simple.
- Saying "no" is a VERY GOOD THING!
- I can stay in my pajamas all day if I need too. Blue Eyes doesn't mind.
- I need to remember how much I love to dance. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE !!!
- I love my blog ! It is an extension of me, and something I really enjoy.
- The more I'm home, the more I love it.
- Having all my peeps and their loves, in the kitchen, laughing, talking, (sometimes over each other), eating and just being home, blesses my mothers heart more then a million dollars ever could.
- Going for a walk at night with Sophie, after the snow falls when the ground is fresh with white is so very peaceful.
- I will continue to strive to "live in the moment" as much as possible. Because my peeps are growing up so fast, and time is precious.
(none of these pictures are my own. Although a couple really do look like me!)
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