Tuesday, March 30, 2010


"Respect your elders
and let these ladies and gents
teach you a thing or two
about living life to the fullest"

The older I get,

the more I understand.

I am definitely,

on my way...

Hugs from Maine

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Its so strange being able to hear someones voice like their sitting right beside you, knowing their thousands of miles away... Today Blue Eyes and I talked to Ben. He is as you know, stationed in Germany and will be home on leave, for two weeks, at the end of May.

Ben has called home a couple of times this week. I have missed each call. His siblings did get to talk to their big brother. Katelyn said, "mom, he was even nice to me." She was thrilled. There is a ten year difference between our oldest and youngest. Space that can sometimes be difficult to fill. Their worlds are so very different. But they do. They do connect.

So after the disappointment of missing calls from Ben earlier in the week, with just Blue Eyes home with me, I called him. In Germany. 4pm. here. 10pm there.

Ben has been a night person for a number of years so I felt safe. The first thing he said was, "mom, do you know how much this is going to cost?" When you need to hear your kids voice, cost doesn't come to mind. Their voice does.

At the end of our conversation, when my heart was full of comfort from hearing our first Born's voice, I called to Blue Eyes to pick up, Ben was on the phone.
I sometimes will overhear what Ben and his dad are talking about. Today was one of those days.

I've known that their conversations are sometimes in a code of sorts. A father, son code. One that is meant to protect me. My heart. My thoughts. My concerns.
When Blue Eyes looked over at me and saw tears streaming down my face, he realized I had heard more than either father or son wanted me to hear. Where Ben will be, and the dangers that are going along with it, when he is in Afghanistan.

As a mom who knows and trust God with her peeps, I find my self still crying. And I struggle with that. I struggle with wondering if I really don't trust God as much as I think I do. Claim I do. The message at church yesterday and last week were about remembering the things God has done in our lives. All of the times He has been there. Gotten us through. Blessed us beyond measure... And He has. In our family. Gotten us through really difficult times. Blessed us beyond measure.

So, why? Why do tears come to my eyes, and fall down my face when I know, God is with our first born. Always with him. No matter where he goes, what he faces, God is there. Beside him. With him.

I'm learning as I go. I'm learning how to be a mother of a son, who is sacrificing all for his country. And I am remembering that Gods plan and purpose for Benjamins life can be trusted. Even though the tears come, and I made Ben promise me to let me hug on him as long as I need when he gets here, and I heard the smile in his voice when he said, "sure mom". God can be trusted. With our lives. With our childrens lives. He is trust worthy.

Tears will come. Tears will fall on the shoulders of the ones I love, and love me. But through each tear, I will choose to trust. I will choose to trust The One who is trustworthy. I will trust Him with our peeps. With their lives, however long or short that might be.

And I will trust and remember that He, is more than enough. Because... He Is.

Its all good. And I am so very grateful.

Hugs from Maine

Saturday, March 13, 2010


This is a wedding "gown" and has my name all over it... If I were to ever be so blessed to marry Blue Eyes again.

You can see her things here,


Hugs from Maine

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


25 years ago today, I was 20, almost a year married, and so very young...
I was also giving birth for the very first time to this young soldier...

Last year on this day, (His 24th birthday), he went off to boot camp. I couldn't bring him, his Dad did. It was a very heavy heart day for me. I had spent over 20 years mothering my first born son. Benjamin. And now, he was entering a world that was beyond my reach of being his mom. I couldn't be there for him if he needed. Couldn't help him feel better if he was sick. Couldn't comfort and encourage him when he was struggling. But in all of that. In all a mother goes through when she is walking in the very last steps of releasing her child from childhood, God was faithful. He was there.

He reminded me of the reality that I already knew. Ben belongs to Him. Always has, always will. Ben has been a sweet gift from God that I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams of being blessed with. But God did. He knew before the beginning of time that Benjamin would be our first born son. Sweet, kind hearted, gentle, smart, (boy is that guy smart), curious, helpful, hard working, strong ... Benjamin is the best oldest brother to his siblings that anyone could ask or hope for. I've always told our peeps that God didn't just randomly place them in their birth order without purpose. They are where they are, for His purpose. His plan. And also for our family. Each of our children have always been taught the precious gift of where they are to the other sibling, in the birth order. Some of them have more responsibility then the others. God of course, knew what He was doing, putting Ben at the beginning.

25 years ago today, when I held my precious first born son, when I looked into his beautiful little blue eyes, (just like his dads), I NEVER imagined we would be raising a soldier. But God did. He knew.

He knew Ben would be a Lego building, gentle spirited, kind hearted, intelligent, helpful, boy, who took care of his siblings, and sometimes mom when dad was at work. He would be strong, and reliable. Always reliable.

He would love and know Jesus, and grow, into a soldier. A soldier in the United States Army. A soldier like those who have gone before him, and those he serves our country with now, giving all. All. Taking care of his family, and yours. Taking care of our country.

I didn't know. I didn't know. But God did. He knew that today, 25 years later, my mothers heart would be so heavy for my first born son. My eyes would be crying all day. And my spirit would be so very, very, proud. Proud beyond words.

God also knew that He would comfort my heart by reminding me that He is ALWAYS with Ben. Our son. Blue Eyes, Mine, and Gods. He will never leave Ben or forsake him. He will and is with him at every point in this journey Ben takes. No matter where it takes him. Talking to him. Helping him. Always there with him.

So although today is a heavy heart day for this mom, God is so good. He will comfort me with my strong, loving Blue Eyes. Who knows what I'm feeling without my speaking a word. He will comfort me with Mattie, Zack and Kate. They will hug on me over and over, let me cry on their shoulders, and tell me, " He'll be alright mom. Really. " They carry my heavy heart with them today. How blessed am I !!!

And God is with Ben. Always with Ben.

Maybe Ben is going to share Jesus with just one person. One person is worth it. Ben would agree, I'm sure.

Its all good, and I am so very, very, grateful.

Hugs from Maine

Sunday, March 7, 2010


If I had a craft room, I think it would look something like this.

Pink walls and all!

Hugs from Maine

Monday, March 1, 2010


Friends on Face Book have reminded me that we have just 19 days until spring! (photos from last year.)

This tells me a few things. I need to find my sheets to hang for the porch.

A new American Flag for the front post.

My white pillows, blanket, and spring flowers.

Last year, I spent many mornings sipping hot coffee here, waking up with the sound of chirping birds. Evenings with my peeps listening to their days events, things they were working through, thoughts and plans.

We read good books, got to know Katies boyfriend Justin, Matties sweet girlfriend Elizabeth. Friends and neighbors stopped by and chatted. We just spent time together.

I am so looking forward to more of that. All are welcome !

Hugs from Maine