“Isn’t it strange that there is training in almost every job situation EXCEPT motherhood! And it is the most important job a woman can ever have.” -Cherie
My Christian sisters, I have a heart plea on behalf of you, myself, and our daughters.
Especially our daughters.
Most of us have been raised with the notion that we can have it all – career, family, and independence.
I don’t think we can.
Before I get to my plea, I want to share the common threads that have been weaved into our generation…
“I was raised with the mindset that I could have a career and a family.”
“My parents never discussed my future…”
“I was raised thinking that women who stayed at home were wasting their time and their lives.”
“I kind of just fell into being a sahm.”
“My family is very big on education.”
“My mom always said we didn’t need a man.”
“My mom was a SAHM, but I don’t think I was raised with either mindset. It was more of “Do what you think is best.”
“I was raised with the mentality that I could stay home and have a family, only if I achieved a 4 year degree, first.”
“Never depend on a man to take care of you. Get your own job so you can have your own money.”
“My parents prepared me to do whatever God called me to do.”
“My mother was a stay at home southern belle who never planted any seeds for me to consider.”
“I think I was raised to do whatever my heart felt lead to do.”
“My mom worked much of the time while I was growing up. I figured I’d be a working mom, too…”
Now look at us! I would say that this post has sparked a great unmasking of what we are struggling with. While we are not with excuse, we can see that damage has been done. Now, it must be said that many things go into how and/or why were taught the way we were…wounds, confusion, misunderstandings, circumstances, sin etc., and thank God grace covers. But friends, WE have a choice to make, now, today on how we want to raise our daughters. Do we want to raise them up in confusion or with conviction and truth?
It is my plea that you and I would choose to go against the current culture and, with conviction, teach and train our daughters how to love their husbands, love their children, and be workers at home…so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Will it be a struggle? Yes, because we have to re-train ourselves, but thank God there are godly women out there to help us and walk beside us! (Sally, Robin, June are some of my favorites in the blogosphere).
I don’t know about you, but I want to give my daughters something better…something firm to stand on. I want them to be thoroughly prepared to what normally happens to women -getting married and having children. I wish so desperately that I would have been trained in these things. With this opportunity that you and I possess, this fresh start and new beginning, we can usher in a beautiful change that will impact generations. It doesn’t mean that everything will be rosy (we still have the curse to contend with), but they will be far ahead of the game.
“…so that they [older women] may encourage [or train] the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored [blasphemed or discredited].” Titus 2:3-5
I know that some of you want to be home and can’t for various reasons – my heart goes out to you and I stand with you in praying that the Lord will bring you back home. I believe He is faithful to what He calls us to.
I encourage you to visit this website often, for it will fill you with good and lovely things to think upon as you seek to build up the gigantic impact of your home.
Recommended Article:
In Over Our Heads
“Feminism is winning the ideological battle for our civilization, and Christians are among its casualties.” Phil Lancaster
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Hmmmmm... Being a stay at home mom has been the most challenging job I've ever had, and the most rewarding. I will be forever grateful for the opportunity my Heavenly Father, and my husband have given me, to be the mom I was called to be to our children. Mistakes and all. My prayer is that our 3 sons, our daughter, and their future spouses, will see the true value in being a stay at home mom. The time I've had with our children is priceless to me. I wouldn't have changed it for any amount of money, beautiful car, or house. Our children are who they are because of Gods calling on my life to be home with them, and raise them, love and nurture them, and teach them about His plan and purpose for their lives. I am one grateful mom.
Hugs from Maine
3 comments:
From my heart, through your pen to this page. I am right there with you my friend. Your words echo everything I have been preaching to the women in my sphere of influence for at least a decade. May His words penetrate deeply into the hearts and minds of those women who read this blog.
Love, Mary Ellen
Lisa this is one of the most thought provoking posts I have ever read. I was a stay at home mom until my daughter was 15 and youngest started school, then my work career began. I should have waited another 5 years.
Those were troublesome years for my daughter. I should have been at home with my mind not divided between work and home.
But on the flip side had I not been a working wife when my husband died in 2004 and I was not yet 60, there was no income unless I worked. Social Security will not pay the spouse unless she is 60. If you have not prepared for something like that or the insurance company finds a clause to get out of paying as they did in my case, times could have been worse.
So maybe the 4 year degree isn't such a bad idea when you have something to fall back on. This I blame on our culture.
God's way never fails and yes we need to instill more of that into our daughters and at this stage of my life granddaughters.
Many Blessings and thanks for making us all think.
B.J. Brooks Robinson
Thank you for such a thought provoking post!
"Most of us have been raised with the notion that we can have it all – career, family, and independence.
I don’t think we can."
We at least cannot have them all at the same time. However they do each have their season. We should be preparing our children to be ready for each season as it comes.
Independence is a amorphious thing with different seasons within itself. There is financial independence, emotional independence, physical and mental independence. I didn't cultivate any of these independences before getting pregnant as a teen and I believe it made me a poorer mother.
By the time I did get married (alas the first time) I had only cultivated the financial aspect and found myself tied to a very affectionate yet immature man who could not keep a job to support a family in any way, and I ended up miserable because I could not submit to him and still keep our family fed. That marriage ended in divorce. During that time I did cultivate the other independences and was able to move on and am now with a man who can provide for our sons and me so that I can be home at this time, in this season. It's tight and there is no retirement or college funds saved up so I know that soon I will need to get back into the workforce to prepare for the future. But with my independences built I can do that when it is the proper season for it. When that time comes it will be as a help mate for my husband not as the head of a household.
Career. One has many careers through life. One of those is motherhood. One has to be prepared to shift priorities from the work world to the home world when that season comes. Some will be able to come home, some will not but either way the priority shift needs to be made.
Family; an eternal season with seasons within it. There is the season when you are a child. There is the season of adulthood before the spouse and children enter your lives. Then young wifery, then young motherhood, then the children grow. And as BJ illustrated there are the seasons that can come up unexpectedly. Each family is going to have different needs in different seasons and somehow daughters must be prepared for all of them.
Daughters do need to understand that they should be the helpmate to their husbands and submit to them. They need to be taught that there is a big difference between being submissive(weak) and submitting to the steward leadership of a good husband(strong). A good helpmate is one roundly prepared to face the all seasons as they come, not just the stay at home one.
As I see it the problem with what happened to our generation is that the helpmate/motherhood preparation was abandoned for the workforce preparation rather than adding workforce preparation to the teaching. It makes the job of raising a daughter trickier but it's necessary for the fully rounded wives and mothers needed in the modern world.
Peace be with you, and have a blessed Christmas and New Year.
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