Sunday, February 28, 2010
It's hard to see someone you love suffer. Be in pain. Lose their spirit as they lose weight, and themselves, each day.
You might think I'm sad tonight. I'm not. I haven't had my mom for 18 years. And through the loss of her, when it hurt so badly that I thought I couldn't breathe... God had a way to comfort my heart. He, was able to comfort my heart. Each day that went by, each month that passed, every year that added on to the one before... God would comfort my heart.
A daughter never stops missing her mum. I haven't. I can't. She was my mum. I still remember her laugh. I hear her voice. I smell her hair. I feel her hand next mine as we would till the earth around the stone, at the cemetery, every year to plant flowers for Memorial Day.
She's been gone 18 years. 18 years today. But I see her smile on my daughters 14 year old face. Katelyn has my mums mouth. My mum was private, and kept most things to herself. Katelyn, does the same.
There are days in the years my mum has been gone, that I miss her more then most. When my feelings are hurt. When Ben left for the Army. When Matthew ran away from home and was gone for months. When Blue Eyes and I had rough times in our marriage. When my Sweet Baby Girl, (Katelyn Mary, named after my mum), went to her first dance, on her first date. When our oldest brother died, two years ago, Her first born.
When I'm struggling with life and trying to figure out which way to go.
Those are the times I miss my mum. Really miss my mum.
But I have Katelyn, my sisters, my brothers, and memories. I am blessed to see my mum in Katelyns smile, my sisters gentle hands, the way I love and care for my family.
And the assurance that one day, I will be with my mum again.
God has a way of comforting a grieving heart.
Its all good, and I am grateful.
Hugs from Maine
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
- whiten my teeth.
- get a short hair cut
- go to a rumba class
- eat more fruit
- hug my first born
- spend a whole day going to the movies
- drive a volvo xc
- walk my dog everyday
- open a shop
- drive around town in the summer months, bringing free books to kids in low income neighborhoods with Kate. And maybe even a cooler full of Popsicles
- try a different flavored ice cream everyday at Giffords until I've tried them all.
- travel around the country just me and Kate.
- have a huge block party with lots of food, music, dancing and the street blocked off at each end.
- live in an apartment
- swim naked more.
- lose weight. :)
- strengthen my body.
- read more.
- go for a long walk on an empty beach with Kate.
- kiss my husband until my lips fall off.
- hear all four of my peeps and their loves talking and laughing together from the other room.
- talk too and sit long enough to hear from God everyday.
- tell each of my sibling how very much I love them.
Just a list of random things I need to a do ...
Hugs from Maine
Friday, February 12, 2010
45 years ago today, I'm pretty sure I was wrapped tightly in a blanket, being fed by a nurse from a glass bottle, wearing cloth diapers, in the hospital nursery with a bunch of other crying newborns. I was the last of my parents 7 children. They were undoubtedly saying a big PHEW WWW... no more! They always said the last two were a surprise. SERIOUSLY!?
Lunch yesterday with 4 great friends at my favorite local restaurant. Sweet gifts, desert passed around the table, circle style. Smiles and laughter, smiles and laughter.
Today, oodles, and oodles, of birthday wishes from family and friends on yes, you guessed it, Face Book. Love it!!!
A phone call from our first born who is still in Germany, wishing his mom a great day. Really love this!
The sweetest letter from one of my peeps (I've been sworn not to give out any more info from said peep ), that blessed my heart beyond words. I will cherish this till the day I go to see Jesus. And then ask Him if He minds if I take it with me. (He just might say yes. He's good like that.)
Oh yeah, and did I mention, one of my brothers called me at 6 am to make sure he was the very first person to wish me a Happy Birthday!!! It was great actually! It reminded me of how close we really still, and always are, even if we get busy with life. He's always got my back. Big brothers are like that ya know. Especially mine.
My Florida sister called and Sewing Sister came by with her hubs to bring me presents from both. Sewing sister even made chocolate covered strawberries! I love those two ! Wow, my siblings rock huh!
A close friend took me to lunch today, (just the two of us. Yes thats two birthday lunches in two days), and then shopping for the most adorable purse this girl has ever had!!! And sunglasses to boot!!!
Then Sweet Baby Girl and I went to the movies to see Valentines Day. Just her and I. All close and mother/daughter like.
Yesterday I got to spend the afternoon with Stella. My mothers close friend. Someone I grew up with. Stella was my moms good friend. I saw her all the time. She knows me, and my mom well. Spending anytime with her is one of my biggest blessings. She isn't my mom, but she's as close as it gets.
Tomorrow, a good friend from 5th grade is taking me out to dinner. We will talk, eat, laugh... laugh some more. Um, yup. I'm a loved girl. So blessed and grateful.
Sweet Baby Girl is lying on the kitchen floor, dog by her side, pillows under her head, ipod in hand, earphones in her ear. Listening to music. Texting, facebooking... I really don't know. Complaining that she should be with her friends on a Friday night. Not home with her parents. But she's here with me, and I'm glad about it.
Blue Eyes is playing golf with Adulterer Tiger on Wii. Well thats what we call Tiger here anyway. Just saying.
I know Jesus loves me. But when He shows me so much of His love in such a short time, in such a real way with family and friends... Well, this girl can't believe how very blessed she is.
Hugs from Maine
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
One of my favorite blogs, Marley & Lockyer, has a wonderful post you don't want to miss.
Ina Garten, Now This Is a Barn...
I love Ina. She makes you feel as though your in her kitchen, sitting at her 18 foot island, sipping one of her cocktails, chatting while she makes one of her delicious meals for you and her to dine on in front of her beautiful fireplace. Jump over to Marley & Lockyer.
Hugs from Maine