Wednesday, March 10, 2010

25 YEARS AGO TODAY ...

25 years ago today, I was 20, almost a year married, and so very young...
I was also giving birth for the very first time to this young soldier...



Last year on this day, (His 24th birthday), he went off to boot camp. I couldn't bring him, his Dad did. It was a very heavy heart day for me. I had spent over 20 years mothering my first born son. Benjamin. And now, he was entering a world that was beyond my reach of being his mom. I couldn't be there for him if he needed. Couldn't help him feel better if he was sick. Couldn't comfort and encourage him when he was struggling. But in all of that. In all a mother goes through when she is walking in the very last steps of releasing her child from childhood, God was faithful. He was there.

He reminded me of the reality that I already knew. Ben belongs to Him. Always has, always will. Ben has been a sweet gift from God that I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams of being blessed with. But God did. He knew before the beginning of time that Benjamin would be our first born son. Sweet, kind hearted, gentle, smart, (boy is that guy smart), curious, helpful, hard working, strong ... Benjamin is the best oldest brother to his siblings that anyone could ask or hope for. I've always told our peeps that God didn't just randomly place them in their birth order without purpose. They are where they are, for His purpose. His plan. And also for our family. Each of our children have always been taught the precious gift of where they are to the other sibling, in the birth order. Some of them have more responsibility then the others. God of course, knew what He was doing, putting Ben at the beginning.




25 years ago today, when I held my precious first born son, when I looked into his beautiful little blue eyes, (just like his dads), I NEVER imagined we would be raising a soldier. But God did. He knew.

He knew Ben would be a Lego building, gentle spirited, kind hearted, intelligent, helpful, boy, who took care of his siblings, and sometimes mom when dad was at work. He would be strong, and reliable. Always reliable.

He would love and know Jesus, and grow, into a soldier. A soldier in the United States Army. A soldier like those who have gone before him, and those he serves our country with now, giving all. All. Taking care of his family, and yours. Taking care of our country.

I didn't know. I didn't know. But God did. He knew that today, 25 years later, my mothers heart would be so heavy for my first born son. My eyes would be crying all day. And my spirit would be so very, very, proud. Proud beyond words.




God also knew that He would comfort my heart by reminding me that He is ALWAYS with Ben. Our son. Blue Eyes, Mine, and Gods. He will never leave Ben or forsake him. He will and is with him at every point in this journey Ben takes. No matter where it takes him. Talking to him. Helping him. Always there with him.

So although today is a heavy heart day for this mom, God is so good. He will comfort me with my strong, loving Blue Eyes. Who knows what I'm feeling without my speaking a word. He will comfort me with Mattie, Zack and Kate. They will hug on me over and over, let me cry on their shoulders, and tell me, " He'll be alright mom. Really. " They carry my heavy heart with them today. How blessed am I !!!

And God is with Ben. Always with Ben.

Maybe Ben is going to share Jesus with just one person. One person is worth it. Ben would agree, I'm sure.

Its all good, and I am so very, very, grateful.

Hugs from Maine

8 comments:

Alicia, The Snowflake said...

Oh how sweet! May we never forget God has plans for our children far beyond us. Thank you for releasing Ben to service. Coming from an Army family, I have great respect for the men & women in service. Many blessings to your family today my friend!

EliSa said...

Hi Lisa! I've been reading your blog for a while, but I never commented. I just wanted to say that you have a wonderful family and you should be very proud of Ben! Greetings from Italy.

Ashley said...

Such a precious post.
It's great to know that the Lord will always be there!
Happy birthday to him, and I'll definitely be praying for you today!
Who knows, maybe today will be the day your son will get to lead someone to the Lord. What a birthday gift that would be!
:D
Have a beautiful day, and tons of hugs to you!

Carol............. said...

Wonderful post.

We support our troops and appreciate how much they do for our country.

hope42day said...

Just WOW! What a beautiful tribute to your son. I will add him and you to my prayer list. Please thank him for me for
-keeping us free
-keeping us safe
-keeping us in good hands
Ben's, the rest of the military and God.
Annie

Carol said...

Thank Ben for all of us who depend on men like him to keep us safe and free. God bless him.

www.wildlifearoundus.blogspot.com

Sandy, Sisters of Season said...

First time visitor, your posting touches my heart, as a Mom I know your emotion. Have a good afternoon!

Paula said...

I don't blame you for calling sister-girl. I would have done it a lot sooner myself ...

Ben is in our prayers EVERY day ...

I love you.

sis # 1